The Human Conscience is a crazy thing. Why is that??
People are always reacting to situations. We react to things everyday. But in relationships and other types of ‘ships, the conscience is responsible for a lot of behaviors. Especially a guilty conscience.
It must suck to have a guilty conscience. What ends up happening is that a person’s insecurities and doubts are transferred into the relationship and it causes a lot of problems. There are certain situations in relationships, especially infidelity, that are fueled by a guilty conscience. A lot of the time, people feel a certain way about something because they know what they do. They automatically assume that other people do the same thing. Some reactions have “Guilty Conscience” written all over them. And a lot of the times, it’s really nothing.
Let’s start with the ever popular, “Why didn’t you answer your phone?” – I am sure all of us at some point have had this problem. You meet someone and in the first few months, he/she answers the phone religiously when you call. After a few months, it becomes a lot more difficult to catch up with this person. You call, they don’t answer the phone. Now under normal circumstance, you would just shrug this off as the person was not accessible. If you’ve had a bad experience or found a partner cheating behind this then perhaps you may be suspect. But people with a guilty conscience, take this small situation to a whole other level. It becomes “Where were you?” “What were you doing?” and “Oh so you can’t answer the phone?” If a person ignores someone’s phone calls because they are with someone else, chances are they are cheating. So immediately they think that if they are with someone and they don’t answer the phone, they are cheating or creepin’ around too.
What about the people who sit on Twitter, FaceBook, AIM, GChat, Skype etc. etc. and try to holla at people all day. If you are in a relationship with someone then that is considered cheating… Did you know that? I read a statistic that 1 in 5 married couples divorce because of such social networking sites. There are people who take to the DM’s, FaceBook chats, GChats and AIM screenames to kick serious game, all while their spouse or partner is in the next room. So now this person sees their partner doing it… And NOW it’s a problem. They flip out. Why is it a problem? Because they think they are doing the same nonsense. Really though? Just because you sit around and do that, doesn’t mean that your partner does it too. Take your guilty ass and go sit down. Perhaps your partner actually respects you and your existence and doesn’t do that to you.
The gossip chick is always apprehensive about having friends. Why? Because she walks around talking about other people, telling people’s secrets and basically being a crappy friend. She thinks that all of her friends are out to get her. She doesn’t trust telling them anything because she talks about everyone. Her conscience is telling her that because she acts like that, people are going to do it to her. Those are the worst kind of people to be friends with. You are always there for them but because they are not genuine with what they do, they are never there for you.
When it comes down to it, your experiences in life and your conscience are drivers in your relationships, be it with friends or lovers. Sometimes it is best to start things with a clean slate and not bring past experiences/insecurities with you. They could save you a lot of difficulties. Word.
-LB
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