TELL 'EM WHY YOU MAD: A Useless Item

First of all, I hate Bluetooth earpieces. Well, let me clarify, I hate them when both your hands are free and you aren’t driving a car. Basically, I hate them when they aren’t used for their intended purpose. Well, intended purpose as I see it I suppose. I once sat next to a woman on the bus who talked on the phone via her Bluetooth earpiece like she didn’t have both hands perfectly free. I hate when people do that. I don’t know why, I just do. I hate when folks walk through the mall or sit at home on their couch chatting it up on their Bluetooth earpiece. A hands free device is intended for when your hands need to be free and not when they actually are free and you’re just being lazy.

Well, even more ridiculous than using a Bluetooth earpiece when you don’t need to, is this “Loud ‘n Clear” device. I know you’ve seen the infomercials with the device that looks like a Bluetooth earpiece but essentially what it is is a low-grade hearing aid. The infomercial calls it a "sound amplifier". The Loud 'n Clear makes you wonder what you've been doing all of these years without it. You get to eavesdrop on people and you’ll never miss another word at a lecture, in church or on television. The device just looks stupid and doesn’t make much sense. I also love how the commercial reaches out to a younger audience with one of the commercials having a woman walking down the beach and two other women saying “oh, she looks so good.” Oh, I got to get one of those now for sure!

So, what happens if you have a Bluetooth earpiece for your phone and the Loud ‘n Clear? Do you wear both? What’s the protocol?

I need to invent something silly that people feel they desperately need yet is totally useless but if I sell two for $19.95, it will surely be a winner. Perhaps a blanket with sleeves. Oh, damn, someone has already done that.

Join the Movement

Join The Mad Bloggers on Facebook! We're not the only one joining the popular social network site. Apparently Facebook is fast growing among woman 55 and older. Click to check out the story.

THE BRIEFING: Be Like Mike

Came across these two random taxes and thought I would share. Both the "jock tax" and "crack tax" are very comical. Well, perhaps the crack tax is a bit funnier.

From CNN.com

The jock tax...

You can thank Michael Jordan for this one. After Jordan's Chicago Bulls put the hurt on the Los Angeles Lakers in the 1991 NBA finals, the state of California began to enforce a nonresident income tax on visiting performers, especially athletes.

Basically, the tax applies to any income earned while competing or performing in California, and it allowed California's Franchise Tax Board to reach into the pockets of Jordan, Pippen, et. al. to extract some revenge for the hard-court beatdown.

Not to be outdone, Illinois, and eventually 18 other states, instituted a jock tax, making a patchwork quilt of tax laws that basketball, baseball, and other sports figures have to consider. Thanks to these regulations, it's more difficult to file a professional athlete's tax return than to map the human genome on a Commodore 64.

The crack tax...

In 1983, Arizona became the first state to implement a "Cannabis & Controlled Substances Tax" in order to boost state revenues and further punish those found guilty of possession.

It works like this: if you are in possession of an illegal drug or illegally produced liquor (aka moonshine), you need to go down to the state tax collection agency and pay the tax on your illegal substances. You are then given tax stamps to affix on your illegal goods.

Sounds insane, right?

Well, part of the code now on the books in more than 30 states says that the tax collection agency is not allowed to rat you out to the local law enforcement agency.

This should put every drug dealer's mind at ease, yet so few of them pay their required taxes. The truth is, many of these taxes are levied in arrears after the local constabulary has caught the criminal dealer. It's really an additional fine for dealing that gets paid straight to the state coffers.

And what of those few people that pay the tax? Records show that the vast majority of them are stamp collectors.

THE BRIEFING: Business as Usual

Just two days after US Naval forces saved a captured American captain, Pirates continue to seize ships on their coast. On Monday Somali pirates vowed to retaliate for the deaths of three of the four pirates who were holding the American captain.

"Every country will be treated the way it treats us," said one of the pirates to the Associated Press. "In the future, America will be the one mourning and crying. We will retaliate for the killings of our men."

From CNN.com

(CNN) -- Pirates off the coast of Somalia hijacked a second freighter Tuesday, a NATO spokesman said.

Pirates on four skiffs seized the 5,000-ton MV Sea Horse, a Lebanese-owned and Togo-flagged vessel, Cmdr. Chris Davies said from NATO's Maritime Component Command Headquarters in Northwood, England.

Earlier Tuesday, pirates hijacked the MV Irene EM, a 35,000-ton, Greek-owned bulk carrier in the Gulf of Aden, Davies and the European Union's Maritime Security Center said.

The crew of the Greek carrier was thought to be unhurt, and ships have been warned to stay clear of the area for fear of further attack, the security center said.

NATO has an ongoing anti-piracy mission off Somalia called Operation Allied Protector. The mission involves four ships covering more than 1 million square miles, Davies said.

A U.S.-led international naval task force, Combined Task Force-151, also is patrolling in the region.

For a different perspective, check K'naan speaking out.

THE BRIEFING: A Different Point of View

Musician K'naan, who is a Somalia native, provided a different perspective to the Somalian Pirate issue (click to view interview). I thought the interview was very interesting and provided another side to the story. And as he mentions in the interview, a side often not covered by national media. Check it out.

What's Up with the Sketchy Lady?

Is it just me or is that new series of Ikea commercials creepy and weird. To be honest, I didn't pay much attention initially to the commercials. But then I noticed that the older black woman was apparently intended to be a figment of imagination. You know, she appears and is really soft spoken and semi sketchy, while offering advice and observations. Wait, what?! Some older black woman is the reason why we subconsciously do things?

I don't understand the concept. Is this woman suppose to be Della Reese's character from "Touch by An Angel" or Hattie McDaniel from "Gone with the Wind". What's Ikea thinking? Are they going with the "older black woman appears when you need motherly guidance" hustle to sell kitchens?

I'm just really confused by their concept and the creepy nature of the campaign.

Happy Birthday Peabo Bryson!

Peabo Bryson (born Robert Peabo Bryson on April 13, 1951) is a two-time Grammy Award-winning American R&B and soul singer, born in Greenville, South Carolina. He is well known for singing soft-rock ballads, often as a duo with female singers, and his contribution to several Disney animated feature soundtracks. Happy birthday and thanks for all the great music throughout the years. Definitely respected, admired and loved.

So many classics that have been sampled over the years...

Click here for classic Peabo Bryson songs.

What I'm Listening to Right Now... Shad

Check this dude out right here. Shad is a Canadian hip-hop musician.

The Old Prince Still Lives at Home (Click to View Video)

Brother Watching (Click to View Video)

Alt. Session Interview (Click to View Video)

What I'm Listening to Right Now... K'naan

Why don't you own Troubadour? K'naan, a Somalia native, is a true poet and artist. Check out Waving Flag live (click to view video).

A Reality Television Moment... New York, Get a Real Job

Tiffany "New York" Pollard is one of the examples why reality television sucks. She was an unknown when she hit the scene on "Flavor of Love" with Flavor Flav, and she hasn't left since. After not being chosen during her first season, she returned a season later to be snuffed again for the prestigious role as Flavor Flav's girl (riiiiight). She then decided to go and seek out "love" in two failed attempts in a spin off dating reality show, "I Love New York". She then returned with "New York Goes to Hollywood", where she tried to get her acting career off the ground. But according to her, Hollywood was just too rough. Now she's back with "New York Goes to Work". Why?!

The new show, premiering May 4, will allow viewers to choose from a list of three possible job opportunities each week and vote via mobile phones by texting the job they would like to see her try. What?!

"Don't think it will be easy for Tiffany. She'll be worked, in all aspects of the job," according to the press release on VH1. "If she can impress her new employers, she'll receive a $5,000 bonus each week. But, if she quits, fails or gets fired, she'll get absolutely nothing." Sounds like winner television to me. How about if she does a good job, she gets paid a normal salary for an honest day of work? So, she'll make $5,000 on top of the deal she has with VH1?

I vote that she goes back to doing whatever she was doing before she was introduced to reality television. Can I get the text code for that? Get a real job New York.

A Reality Television Moment... Bret Michaels, What's Under That Hat?

Does anyone else think that Bret Michaels (former lead singer of Poison, VH1's Reality Show "Rock of Love") is pulling a Hulk Hogan (a serious receding hairline) under that hat and bandanna? Older promo photographs from the first season shows that he apparently has a full head of hair under there somewhere but he hasn't been quick to show in the last few seasons. I just think that dude is pulling a Hulk Hogan.

Red - I Should Tell Your Momma On You.....Oh yeah, he's homeless.

A friend just called me up and said I had to check this dude out on the internet. Said he's a homeless beatboxer and that his song is hotter than most of what he hears on the radio. Said that this dude is talented. So.....coincidentally, I just got home and was on my computer and to youtube.com I went. I gotta say, I think I agree. One man band man for real! Check it out...

Click to hear...
Red - I Should Tell Your Momma On You

LYRICS

------
Chorus
------
Now here we go again
me and my lonesome ass friend
spin up your dope fa sho' man I'm just sayin'
and I ain't playin' I should tell your momma on you
me and my folks rollin' benz
we be so close, holdin' hands
kick in yo' door to show you I ain't playin'
I I I I I ain't playin' I should tell your momma on you!

-------
Verse 1
-------
FOR WHAT?
for smokin' on that grand daddy!
make you wan' slap your grand mammy!
make you wanna hit that laffy taffy
wonderful, when i do it girl you make me happy
so we about to get hyphy wit it
you claim that you don't like me, quit it
after hours now I'm all up in it
and after that she keep me Nike fitted

------
Chorus
------
Now here we go again
me and my lonesome ass friend
spin up your dope fa sho' man I'm just sayin'
and I ain't playin' I should tell your momma on you
me and my folks rollin' benz
we be so close, holdin' hands
kick in yo' door to show you I ain't playin'
I I I I I ain't playin' I should tell your momma on you!

-------
Verse 2
-------
WHO ELSE?
Monaysha, Leigha, Sasha on ya!
Treasure, Smiley, Tasha on ya
Regina or Lil' Tina on ya
Sabrina or Kristina on ya
Stacy n' Tracy on ya
Cagney or Lacey on ya
Brianna or Bianca on ya
Lil' Tanya or Tatianna on ya
Cookie, Misha, Cora on ya
Secoya or Latoya on ya
Jasmine, Robin, Daisy on ya
Malaysia on ya', for you haters go get tailor on ya
and if you don't know go get coco on ya
sick me Donnie Bobo on ya
might just sick a hobo on ya
ya auntie and ya uncle on ya
you get me mad I have to chomp 'em on you
pass me the ball I slam dunk 'em on you
don't have me shoot my jumper on you!

------
Chorus
------
Now here we go again
me and my lonesome ass friend
spin up your dope fa sho' man I'm just sayin'
and I ain't playin' I should tell your momma on you
me and my folks rollin' benz
we be so close, holdin' hands
kick in yo' door to show you I ain't playin'
I I I I I ain't playin' I should tell your momma on you!

---------
Breakdown
---------
FOR WHAT?
FOR WHAT?
I DIN' DO NOTHIN'
I DIN' DO NOTHIN'
I DIN' DO!
FOR WHAT?
FOR WHAT?
I DIN' DO NOTHIN'
I DIN' DO NOTHIN'