BLAME IT ON THE ALCOHOL: I’d like to file this under “should have never given you n*ggas cameras”. This whole sex tape and nude pictures from celebrities is not really a new thing (insert Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, Ray J, Pamela Anderson, Tommy Lee, etc, etc.) but it seems to be a bit more “leaks” in the last few months. Uh, do you remember the internet being on fire over those Cassie and Rihanna pics? (sidebar: I still laugh when I hear the Cassie and Riahnna tribute song)
Now we’ve got Jamie Foxx (reported that pics were for a movie role) on the scene with his pics (have not seen and won’t look for). Then you’ve got Eric Dane aka "McSteamy" from Grey’s with his sex vid (a threesome that truly lives up to his onscreen character). Things have gotten so out of control, publicity hungry Bad Boy artist Will from Day 26 issued a statement denying fake pictures of himself that surfaced online (that 99.9% of people didn’t even know existed). Will sit your ass down, trying to jump on the bandwagon with some “leaked” photos and then pissed no one paid attention.
My favorite line when pictures or a video is “leaked” is “I don’t know how it got out.” GTFOH, you know how it got out! Someone hacked your gmail? Someone intercepted your text? Come on with the bullshit. YOU DID IT! Someone close to your camp with your permission did it. Why? Truth be told, there is no such thing as bad publicity, especially if the pics and videos are flattering.
Oh and for the record, the picture that popped up of me was a personal picture and I don’t know how it got out. Please respect the privacy of me and my family at this very difficult time while we deal with this picture being leaked. I apologize to my fans if I let you down. Thank you, Q
THE DOG CATCHER: Vick, Vick, Vick, Vick … LET THE DUDE LIVE! To be honest with you, I really don’t care about football and it’s not like I’m a Michael Vick fan. I do however think the nonsense surrounding Vick with people being so pissed that he’s playing football again is ridiculous. You won’t support the Eagles now because he’s playing? Pissed at the NFL Commissioner? GTFOH!
You’re watching Martha Stewart in the morning, huh? Baking a cake from her recipe, right? Oh, she did time too! Oh, because it was a white-collar crime, no big deal? NO, A CRIME IS A CRIME! Real talk, what Michael Vick did was wrong but the man paid his debt to society. Done deal. Case closed. He’s not going to be chilling with DMX, Bow Wow or Snoop any time soon and he’s cleaned his hard drive of any dog fighting porn. I mean the dude did a coached interview on 60 Minutes, what else could we ask for? It’s over.
Michael Vick is a lucky dude to get a gig after getting out of jail. If only more minorities could get gigs after getting out of jail, the world would be a better place.
PACK UP PACKER: While I’m talking about football (again, not a fan) Brett Favre do us a favor and sit your un-retiring ass down! You come out of retirement more than a rapper, Muhammad Ali and Michael Jordan combined. Every time you un-retire it’s like a sequel to a movie that should have never been made (insert Final Destination here). Here’s a bit of advice, go coach pop warner football and take a few years off and then maybe come back as an NFL commentator or something. What needs to happen Brett is you need to tell your ego to GOOOOO LOOOONG because enough is enough.
KISS AND TELL: So this dude Terrence (106 & Playground) and Khloe Kardashian (why is she famous again?) kissed. Yeah, this should be filled under, WHO THE F’ CARES! Yeah, yeah, yeah … I’m writing about it but mostly because the aftermath of that kissing nonsense was on some middle school shit. “You know you kissed me first, right?” What?! Grow up with that dumb shit! There were probably twelve-year-old kids laughing at them for that. These cats must not understand the rules of making out, especially when you’re drunk. Shit happens, no need to be debriefing the situation afterward. Go ahead and GTFOH with all that extra nonsense.
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