TELL 'EM WHY YOU MAD: What the F is an Anti-Shoe?

Pause from music to bring you this nonsense...

A friend sent me this link to MBT-the anti-shoe earlier today. Probably sent it over to me because I like to poke fun at things on the blog. The thing is, that these anti-kicks poke fun at themselves because they exist.

So, I reached out to O to share the link. He sees it and hits me back with "Should not be worn under the influence. Can result in injury and laughter among peers and strangers."

My question is this, what's an anti-shoe? Was it sent to earth to ruin shoes as we know it? If they are anti the shoe are they even a shoe or refer to themselves as such? O thought that the anti-shoe was a flip-flop. I tend to agree with that statement. I also thought if you were anti-shoe, you would just kick it barefoot or whatever. Guess I'm wrong.

According to the benefits, wearing them will improve your posture. I guess this could be a good then. Then there is the +9% buttock muscle activity (important if you're trying to get your Kim Kardashian on ladies). There is also the increased abdominal muscle activity (this must be the improved Kanye West workout plan). Just tell me that they would make me run faster and jump higher and then maybe I might be on board. Nah, who am I kidding, I still wouldn't be on board with these anti-shoes.

These joints might be comfortable, but I'll never try them on to find out however. I'm just not sure how I feel about wearing a seesaw on my feet as a teeter back and forth with each step. I thought that Vans had some ugly kicks or that Crocs were the worst thing ever invented, but this anti-shoe has it beat by far.

I suggest if you get a pair of these that you buy the Snuggie and one of those Loud n' Clear earpieces, then step outside and ShamWow your car.

TELL 'EM WHY YOU MAD: A Useless Item

First of all, I hate Bluetooth earpieces. Well, let me clarify, I hate them when both your hands are free and you aren’t driving a car. Basically, I hate them when they aren’t used for their intended purpose. Well, intended purpose as I see it I suppose. I once sat next to a woman on the bus who talked on the phone via her Bluetooth earpiece like she didn’t have both hands perfectly free. I hate when people do that. I don’t know why, I just do. I hate when folks walk through the mall or sit at home on their couch chatting it up on their Bluetooth earpiece. A hands free device is intended for when your hands need to be free and not when they actually are free and you’re just being lazy.

Well, even more ridiculous than using a Bluetooth earpiece when you don’t need to, is this “Loud ‘n Clear” device. I know you’ve seen the infomercials with the device that looks like a Bluetooth earpiece but essentially what it is is a low-grade hearing aid. The infomercial calls it a "sound amplifier". The Loud 'n Clear makes you wonder what you've been doing all of these years without it. You get to eavesdrop on people and you’ll never miss another word at a lecture, in church or on television. The device just looks stupid and doesn’t make much sense. I also love how the commercial reaches out to a younger audience with one of the commercials having a woman walking down the beach and two other women saying “oh, she looks so good.” Oh, I got to get one of those now for sure!

So, what happens if you have a Bluetooth earpiece for your phone and the Loud ‘n Clear? Do you wear both? What’s the protocol?

I need to invent something silly that people feel they desperately need yet is totally useless but if I sell two for $19.95, it will surely be a winner. Perhaps a blanket with sleeves. Oh, damn, someone has already done that.