Uh, another Chance at Love… for Real?

And here we go again.

What’s the expression again? That’s right … when it rain, it pours. That’s what I think of when I peep the horrible programming decisions on Vh1. You know, just when you think it’s bad, it gets worse.

The brothers of the Stallioniares are back to do it all over again, with 20 new women filling the stable, as the brothers attempt to find “love” again. Yes, I use the word love loosely in the contexts of a reality dating show.

But we knew a season 2 was coming. Seriously, how many of these Vh1 dating reality shows last one season? Well? Oh, I’ll wait. To me it just boils down to publicity and it’s just one big game show that puts the winner in a good place for future opportunities (enter Hoopz here – and I also use “good place” loosely).

Real Chance of Love 2 held casting calls throughout the month of March and word has it that they are currently in production on the second season. I can’t imagine Chance (who is a spazz and seems to have some anger management issues) or Real (who had better hair than all the ladies on the show and probably won’t date a chick with split ends) really being able to settle down. But this is television and we’ll witness more madness and crazy tasks for solo dates and more ridiculous nick names (i.e. Cornfed, MILF, Bay Bay Bay, Meatball, Rabbit and So Hood). Oh, the nicknames and how they reinforce a positive image for the ladies.

I have a big question for Vh1. No, it’s not whether or not they think reality-dating stars will truly find love, but whether Flavor Flav is catching royalties on all of these ridiculous shows. Well, is he? Think about it, they’ve pretty much run a copy/paste formula here since the first season of Flavor of Love aired. New York, who appeared on two seasons of Flavor of Love has had three spin off shows (I Love New York 1 & 2, New York Goes to Hollywood and now New York Goes to work). Real and Chance, members of I Love York season 1 then appeared on I Love Money and now they are in the second season of their spin off show. Then for the Love of Ray J and Rock of Love are basically mirror images of Flavor of Love. And who started with the dumb nicknames? That’s right, your boy, Flaaaaaaavooooooooor FLAVVVVVV!!!!!! So, hopefully he’s seeing some dividends from all the madness.

Here’s a few spin off suggestions:
In Danger of Love – Featuring home chick Danger from For the Love of Ray. Think about the crazy dudes they would cast for a show like this.
Entertainer Goes to Work – Cause, damn we know that dude needs a job stat.
And Then I Got Locked Up – Featuring Sapphire and her adventures on the run from the law while appearing on reality television.

I mean, if we’re out to make trash reality television shows, why not go all out. Right?

I wonder what the Vh1 Christmas parties look like with this like one degree of separation between all of the shows. Danger and Bay Bay Bay having a drink, while Ray J and Bret Michaels talk it up with Flavor Flav. Chance is jumping on a table somewhere cursing and smoking a pack of cigarettes, while Hoopz is working the pole. MILF is snitching to Cocktail about someones business but it’s not even the truth. New York is arguing with Tailor Made, and It is pretending to be stupid while Sapphire is dodging the police. The whole time, Real is just combing his hair.

It’s all just one giant tragedy.


Plus more reality madness:
The Road to Reality Television
Tailor Made & It - The Odd Couple
Rock Bottom with Daisy of Love
New York Goes to Work

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The Odd Couple... It and Tailor Made

I heard about this show and thought that someone was just kidding. I even watched the clip and still feel like someone's kidding. You remember your boys George "Tailor Made" Weisgerber and Kwame "It" Smalls (yeah, I threw out their government names) from "I Love New York 2" and "For The Love of Money 2"?

Well, these dudes have taken to the net with their "The Odd Couple" webisodes. Apparently they will spend time experiencing each others lifestyle. First episode has Tailor Made visiting It in his neighborhood and experiencing playing dice, 40 oz in a brown paper bag, fried chicken and freestyling (and countless other stereotypes). The second episode has It going to a day spa with Tailor Made, to get among many other things a spray on tan. This is classic stuff.

My biggest question is why didn't Vh1 pick up on this gem? This is quality programming right here. Seriously, I would watch this wildness. Or maybe I'm kidding.

Maybe they should put a movie into production soon, maybe like a buddy cop story or Dumb and Dumber 3. It's what the people want right?

Check out a clip from the first episode below.



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TELL 'EM WHY YOU MAD: Don't Support Ignorant Ish

That Hurricane Chris "Halle Berry" is another instructional dance piece of garbage from a ring-tone-personal-trainer-rapper.

As a matter of fact, allow me to put all ring-tone-personal-trainer rappers on notice (yeah, this includes you Soulja Boy). Stop making shit and take pride in your craft. Folks have made the argument that this type of music is entertaining and for teens (yet I see adults blasting it on a regular basis). I’m still trying to figure out who approved the Stanky Leg.

Sure, make music for the teens but does it 1) have to sound like this 2) always include some horrible dance? Can’t we give our youth a little more? Yes, I know most heads like a catchy hook and a beat you can rock to, but those things don’t need to come without creativity and talent. Hey, let’s just do it this way… let’s stop calling these cats rappers and they should never be included in a sentence with the words “hip-hop”, unless you are saying that it’s the direct opposite. Give them their own category and perhaps then I won’t say anything (can’t promise though).


“Download”, the newest from Lil Kim featuring T-Pain and Charlie Wilson is yet another example of why you shouldn't make a track about social networking. "...He wanna download me on his floppy disk"? Hmm, it's like this track was released a decade too late. Uh, hey Kim they invented flash drives while you were locked up. Good to know that Lil Kim is up on her google, MySpace and Facebook-ing. By the way with all due respect, Lil Kim is like five plastic surgeries past pretty © @OCSupreme. Please don’t download this garbage.


This week Ciara put out an album circa 1986-1992 Janet Jackson. She's decided to re-hit the scene with a look like Beyonce and a sound like Janet Jackson. I suppose originality is out in 2009. I’m wrong? You might want to re-listen to that “Love, sex, and magic”, as an example of what I’m saying. Perhaps she should have a wardrobe malfunction and it might push more albums.


Speaking of wardrobe malfunctions, on Thursday morning pictures of Cassie breasts surfaced on the Internet (yeah, I looked). According to Cassie, "IT SEEMS THAT SOMEONE HAS HACKED INTO MY COMPUTER...THAT'S REAL FOUL AND EVIL. NOW STOP ACTING LIKE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN A TITTY BEFORE." Hacked her computer? What happened, she get hit with that conficker? Guess she wasn’t on a mac.

The truth is that we’ve seen many a celebrity nude before. Funny how celebrities never know how nude pictures and sex videos hit the surface, but boy do they seem to benefit from the extra publicity. With all due respect, publicity is a bitch and it seems like Cassie is all about it. Crazy haircut, check. Expose breast, check. Guess the home sex vid is next.

I think this was the internal convo… Cassie: How do I take the focus off Ciara's album? Answer: Email pics of breast from an anonymous source. Score: Cassie 1, Ciara 0.


We're losing thousands of jobs daily and what pops up on television? New York Goes to Work. They should have shelved this project indefinitely. Thanks again Vh1, you sure know how to churn out the winners. Viewers tune in weekly to see what type of job New York will do, and if she's successful with the gig she receives $10k. Talk about work grossly overpriced. Damn, she must have landed a gig at AIG with a bonus like that.

As music producer Nicolay put it on Twitter, "Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie did that shit eons ago and THAT already wasn't funny" (Damn, do you remember that show?) So, not only does Vh1 put on trash, they recycle. Good to know that they are running a green network.

Yeah I tuned in to bits and pieces of the first show (always looking for good blog material). The premier put New York in a position as an exterminator. Yes, definitely a tough gig for sure and not for everyone but in my opinion she failed overall at the task, yet they gave her the $10k anyway. Garbage! And to add insult to injury, if you want to vote on which job she'll do on each episode you can text in and cough over a $1 per text message. Pass.


Dear Networks: Don't report anymore about Bristol Palin or Levi. She’s not the only single moms out there w/ a baby daddy. And he damn sure ain’t the only dude with a little baby mama drama (raising my hand). They don’t need to be the spokesperson for shit and definitely not abstinence.


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A Reality Television Moment... New York, Get a Real Job

Tiffany "New York" Pollard is one of the examples why reality television sucks. She was an unknown when she hit the scene on "Flavor of Love" with Flavor Flav, and she hasn't left since. After not being chosen during her first season, she returned a season later to be snuffed again for the prestigious role as Flavor Flav's girl (riiiiight). She then decided to go and seek out "love" in two failed attempts in a spin off dating reality show, "I Love New York". She then returned with "New York Goes to Hollywood", where she tried to get her acting career off the ground. But according to her, Hollywood was just too rough. Now she's back with "New York Goes to Work". Why?!

The new show, premiering May 4, will allow viewers to choose from a list of three possible job opportunities each week and vote via mobile phones by texting the job they would like to see her try. What?!

"Don't think it will be easy for Tiffany. She'll be worked, in all aspects of the job," according to the press release on VH1. "If she can impress her new employers, she'll receive a $5,000 bonus each week. But, if she quits, fails or gets fired, she'll get absolutely nothing." Sounds like winner television to me. How about if she does a good job, she gets paid a normal salary for an honest day of work? So, she'll make $5,000 on top of the deal she has with VH1?

I vote that she goes back to doing whatever she was doing before she was introduced to reality television. Can I get the text code for that? Get a real job New York.