TELL 'EM WHY YOU MAD: A Useless Item

First of all, I hate Bluetooth earpieces. Well, let me clarify, I hate them when both your hands are free and you aren’t driving a car. Basically, I hate them when they aren’t used for their intended purpose. Well, intended purpose as I see it I suppose. I once sat next to a woman on the bus who talked on the phone via her Bluetooth earpiece like she didn’t have both hands perfectly free. I hate when people do that. I don’t know why, I just do. I hate when folks walk through the mall or sit at home on their couch chatting it up on their Bluetooth earpiece. A hands free device is intended for when your hands need to be free and not when they actually are free and you’re just being lazy.

Well, even more ridiculous than using a Bluetooth earpiece when you don’t need to, is this “Loud ‘n Clear” device. I know you’ve seen the infomercials with the device that looks like a Bluetooth earpiece but essentially what it is is a low-grade hearing aid. The infomercial calls it a "sound amplifier". The Loud 'n Clear makes you wonder what you've been doing all of these years without it. You get to eavesdrop on people and you’ll never miss another word at a lecture, in church or on television. The device just looks stupid and doesn’t make much sense. I also love how the commercial reaches out to a younger audience with one of the commercials having a woman walking down the beach and two other women saying “oh, she looks so good.” Oh, I got to get one of those now for sure!

So, what happens if you have a Bluetooth earpiece for your phone and the Loud ‘n Clear? Do you wear both? What’s the protocol?

I need to invent something silly that people feel they desperately need yet is totally useless but if I sell two for $19.95, it will surely be a winner. Perhaps a blanket with sleeves. Oh, damn, someone has already done that.